Day 8 - Saturday Morning Update

Good morning and happy Saturday to all!

I'll keep this short and sweet since there aren't a lot of updates, but still important prayer requests to put out there. I'm grateful people want to know what to pray specifically for, so here goes.

PRAISE -
Becca and Nathan's aunt came in from Texas yesterday, and is a neonatal nurse practitioner. She feels great about how Canaan is doing and also about the care she's receiving. This is such a praise and comfort, to know that Canaan is in a good place for her care and that she's doing well.

PRAYER REQUESTS -
They are doing a repeat echo this morning on Canaan, and her doctor is requesting a rush on results from Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock. We really need the PDA to start closing up, so prayers that it is doing the right thing!

Also, please please please pray for Canaan's bowels. This is a significant hurdle to overcome. Pray that her bowels can work, and can absorb the nutrients she needs so that she can grow.

We feel so encouraged by the progress she's making, and at the same time she can have a rough morning, and the roller coaster of emotions follows. We have to remember that she is still fighting for her life, and every day is a miracle for her.

HOW YOU CAN HELP -
Friends continue to ask for their address and the link for Go Fund Me, so I'll continue including it on blog posts.

Go Fund Me Page for Becca and Nathan

Their temporary home:
ATTN: Becca and Nathan Daniel
15 N. Locust Avenue, Apt. 3
Fayetteville, AR 72701

Nathan and Wake outside their new place

Thank you - as always - for lifting this family up in prayer. They arrived in Arkansas one week ago today, and they know there are many more weeks ahead until they can return. Prayers can sustain.

Blessings to all,
Courtney

Day 7 - One Week In

Morning friends, Courtney here.

Today is Friday, July 14. One week ago today I was running errands, cleaning out the car and packing our family up for our annual beach vacation. It was late afternoon and our babysitter had stopped by when my phone rang. Becca's name popped up on caller ID but I silenced it to finish my conversation, figuring she was just calling to say hi and that I could call her back in a bit. And then the text came.

"Please call me. Urgent."

You ever get that feeling in the depths of your stomach where you know there is bad news coming, and yet you're scared to find out the specifics? That's the feeling that encompassed my entire body one week ago today.

The hours that followed felt like a cruel nightmare. How could this be happening? What can I say to my friend? Is my children's birth sibling going to die in these next moments, and then what??? My kids were running around, oblivious to the scene unfolding over the phone. I closed myself into our kitchen pantry, sank down into a sitting position, hugged my knees, and sobbed with Becca. 

One week later, Canaan is here. She's alive and she's fighting. We have such hope for her, and yet we also know she is still in such a precarious position. The prayers have expanded, from just one family, to another, and to another, and yet another. And now there are thousands of you praying for her, and we all hold on for this hope of a miracle within her little body. So thank you for your prayers and for all the encouragement you're sending to Becca and Nathan. We are one week in, so let's please keep that coming for them. Here are today's praises and prayer requests.

This is Becca's hand holding one of Canaan's diapers.
Just to give you perspective on how tiny our warrior is!

PRAISES -

She is still extubated. Her doctor says she really is a miracle baby and so to be alive and doing this well is amazing! Oxygen levels look good - go Canaan go!

PRAYER REQUESTS - 

Canaan's echo came back and she does have PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus), which they'll watch closely. They don't want to give her medicine or do surgery unless they have to. Her left ventricle looks good (praise!). We just need her body to close up the PDA on its own. It can take quite a bit longer to close up with preemies. This is an important step towards having a healthy relationship between lungs and heart. Right now her heart is having to work twice as hard, so pray the PDA closes up!

Please please keep praying for her bowels. Many micro preemies can have bowel issues so please pray for her to absorb what she needs.

Also pray for the other families in the inner core of the NICU. Two families went to regular rooms yesterday, but two new ones came in. It is so hard to watch and will probably never feel normal. If you know Becca and Nathan, you know they will take any opportunity that comes up to minister to other families there, so lift them up as they look for those moments.

Continue to lift the Daniel family, specifically Fenley and Wake. They are being so great, and Becca and Nathan are trying to keep some sense of normalcy, but it's hard for kids. 

OTHER UPDATES -

Thank you to everyone giving and sending cards! Becca and Nathan received a package from a friend in Tennessee who had a preemie and they sent blankets and encouragement to give to other NICU families. What a blessing!

And the mystery family who put 7 flamingo's in Becca and Nathan's front yard at home in Tennessee? Awesome. Flat-out awesome.

They went to a taco place called Tacos 4 Life (you know how the Daniel's love Mexican!) and it's a Christian-based restaurant. One taco = one meal for a kid in Honduras. One of the guy's who works there paid for their meal!

Sign at Tacos 4 Life

They've also seen the Duggar family a couple times. They have been so kind and encouraging and have invited them to church! Arkansas is becoming their new home, and they love their rental house. Even though every single day is tough and has new battles, God blesses them with gifts, too. 

Songs they feel blessed to hear:

Do It Again

Holy Spirit

Thank you all again. God bless each of you!

Blessings,

Courtney

Day Six - Thursday Morning Updates

Good morning everyone! I can't speak completely for Becca and Nathan, but I am still basking in the glow of there being no brain bleed and that she is still extubated. Anyone else feel the same way? This beautiful little girl is defying the odds and I, for one, am incredibly grateful. She is a testament to your prayers. Your breaths of prayers you whisper as you pour your coffee, or walk to a work meeting, or change your baby's diaper. When you breathe out that prayer request while you are driving or laying down in bed at night, God is hearing them. The staff are now coming by Becca and Nathan, saying "Did you hear no brain bleeds? It's because thousands are praying!" This time right now is displaying the work of Jesus, and people are paying attention.

Thank you to Jenna in Florida for what you did in your Bible journal! 

Let's hit up some praises and prayer requests, because I know you are ready to see how you can pray today!

PRAISES - 
She remains extubated. Cannot state this enough as to how wonderful this is for her.

She still has zero brain bleeds! But keep praying for this as Canaan will have another scan on day 14.

She is alive for day 6! Becca and Nathan found out more last night about her birth story, and it's incredible. This little warrior wasn't expected by anyone to make it. And yet here she is, surviving. Next step: thriving!

Mommy and Nanna, doing some of that beautiful healing touch time.
And check out the sweet pictures Fenley has colored for Canaan's bed!

PRAYER REQUESTS -
(There will be something new to pray for each day, because micro preemie's are constantly changing. Especially as she works toward day 10 of living. Her perseverance is a great attribute.)

Canaan needs to keep her feedings down. Pray for the development of her GI tract.

She had an echo on her heart yesterday. Please pray that she will miraculously have no PDA (this is a valve in the heart that usually closes up in babies when full term). We need this to not be present. Do you believe this can happen? I do! Join us in that prayer - I am ready for her to shock the doctors yet again.

Pray all her systems work together. Especially those heart and lungs!

Daddy doing a temp check at one of Canaan's care times.
Fun fact - he knew the name of something that the nurse practitioner did not. I think he enjoyed that!
For any of his anatomy students reading along, you would be proud.

HOW YOU CAN HELP -
I've posted the Go Fund Me link, but wanted to post it again here.

Go Fund Me Page for Becca and Nathan

Also, Becca and Nathan were able to move into a long term rental they heard about from a NICU nurse. So here is the address if you would like to send them a card:

ATTN: Becca and Nathan Daniel
15 N. Locust Avenue, Apt. 3
Fayetteville, AR 72701

Soaking up family dinner at Chipotle using a gift card someone sent.
They are so incredibly grateful!

The beauty of song and scripture is coming at them every day. Here is some they are clinging to these days:

"The Lord's promises are pure,
like silver refined in a furnace,
purified seven times over."
---Psalm 12:6 (NLT)

Jesus Culture - Miracles

Amy Grant - Breath of Heaven
(this song, even though it's sung during Christmas season, is one they sing over Canaan's bed every night. That beautiful chorus is so fitting for her!)

Many, many thanks to all of you as you lift the Daniel family up in your prayers. We keep expecting miracles, and God continues to deliver them.

Blessings,
Courtney

Wednesday morning update

Hello friends and family! Here is the latest update on our warrior Canaan-

PRAISE -
THERE IS NO BRAIN BLEED!!!!! Can we all continue to praise God in these miracles?? Insert praise hand emoji because everyone is doing the happy dance!

Her numbers look good...oxygen and blood pressure. She continues to stay extubated which is wonderful!

PRAYER REQUESTS -
We need her to keep feedings down. They had to cut her feedings last night and tried again this morning and she's not tolerating them. We need her to eat and be able to keep it down, digest and grow.

Colleen (her respiratory therapist) said her lung X-ray didn't look as good as it has but that's to be expected

They also did an echo on her heart but those get sent to Little Rock so won't know anything till later in week.

Please keep those prayers coming and as we keep saying, this is a long road. Don't forget to subscribe to the blog if you'd like these updates emailed to you (check the right side of the blog to sign up).

Blessings,
Courtney

Praises and How to Help

Wow - what an afternoon for Becca and Nathan! She wanted me to send out a quick update of some praises for Canaan and I am not surprised of these praises as they happened while all of you were lifting this family up in prayers. I don't know about all of you, but God sure is growing my faith!

PRAISES -
Canaan is not intubated!! Massive surprise for all. She's got oxygen, and will for a while. And she could be intubated again if she doesn't hold good levels. But she's so incredibly strong. It's a delicate balance - they don't want her intubated too long because it could cause lung damage but they also want her to receive ample oxygen because she needs good eyesight and brain development. So right now, she isn't intubated so we are praying she continues to breathe well and her lungs keep growing.

Another beautiful sign made by Canaan's nurse, Sarah

Another praise: Becca and Nathan got to touch her! It's called healing touch, where you can't rub, but can lay your hand on her. After scrubbing in, they donned gloves and laid hands on her. And guess what that sweet girl did? She opened her eyes and looked right at them. Her levels also dropped (in a good way!) - healing touch can be so calming. What a precious time for Becca and Nathan, and I pray they get more of those moments in the coming days.

Canaan is called a micro preemie, and is currently the smallest baby at the hospital. She stays in an isolette bed, where they try to keep her as comfortable and "womb-like" as possible.

We all know this will be a roller coaster, with two steps forward, and one step back. But we are praising Him for these beautiful moments. So keep up the prayers; we invite you into these moments so you can see God's glory in all of this. I am overwhelmed by the goodness of this community.

Becca wanted me to include this from her cousin, which showcases a special connection of her name and the Old Testament:

"Jonathan says he keeps thinking of Isaac's birth story. To Abraham and Sarah it seemed impossible. But God had a plan to fulfill His promises to Abraham and, ultimately, to bring about redemption for the world. So God made a miracle. Just like God promised a great land to Abraham, and eventually brought His people to Canaan. Which also set the scene for our Redeemer and proved God's great power. He keeps His promises to His people. Always. Canaan, your name is such an incredible reminder of God's greatness today. We pray that anyone who hears your name and hears your story sees the Lord in His glory and might. We pray that your little organs, immune system, muscles and bones will be strengthened daily, and that you grow into an even brighter beacon for the Lord than you already are. Because you already shine big, sweet girl."

HOW YOU CAN HELP - 
We are getting overwhelmed (in an awesome way) of how people can help. Most importantly, continue the prayers, and believe me they are being felt!

Becca's cousin has set up a Go Fund Me page. I'll post the link here and on the side of the blog, if you feel led to donate. Also, if you'd like to send a gift card to a restaurant, they have Taziki's, Chipotle, Whole Foods, Walmart, etc. I'll post the address of their Airbnb, and they welcome any cards or letters. As I said in my first post, they are going to be there for quite a while.

Additionally, I will be going to Arkansas next week, so if you have a care package you want to send, please email me here  and we can find a time to meet up next Sunday or Monday morning before I head out.

Thank you thank you thank you! May God continue to receive ALL the glory in this story!

Go Fund Me for Becca and Nathan Daniel

ATTN: Becca and Nathan Daniel
15 N. Locust Avenue, Apt. 3
Fayetteville, AR 72701

Blessings to all,
Courtney

EDITED TO ADD: I've added a gadget on the right side of the blog where you can sign up to receive updates. I know there will be many updates to the blog as we move ahead so feel free to sign up via email so you don't miss anything!

God's Promise: Canaan Rebecca Daniel

Hi everyone. This is Courtney, posting on Becca and Nathan's behalf. I'm a very old friend from childhood, and feel humbled and honored to join the Daniel's on an incredible adoption story that is overflowing with miracles. Many of you know what's happened recently but for those who need a quick catch-up, here is a brief background.

I have 4 kids, two of whom are adopted and are full biological siblings. Their birth mother became pregnant and my husband and I asked Becca and Nathan to adopt this baby girl. They said yes, and God confirmed each movement along the way (and I can't wait to share with you in the coming days all of those God sightings).

At 25 weeks and 1 day along, Canaan Rebecca Daniel was born, and the Daniel family rushed to Northwest Arkansas to say their goodbyes, as the doctors told them this little girl was not expected to survive. But as we all know, God is in the business of miracles, and she is alive! One pound of pure miracle, with a head full of hair and a lot of grit and determination within her.

We are planning to update this blog frequently, as her medical needs can change within a minute, and we know the power of PRAYER matters. Assume though that no news is good news. If you don't see the blog updated, know that things are still moving along and that Canaan is still fighting. We are expecting one miracle after another, so we are asking each of one of you to share Canaan's story, and to boldly approach God's throne along the way with us. Canaan has an incredibly long road ahead of her, and I know we all want to help out in any way we can. That said, here are the praises and prayer requests for today:

PRAISES -
She endured a lumbar puncture yesterday to test for infection and the results came back with NO INFECTION! Truly wonderful news and a blessing!

She has been able to increase the milk she is receiving, which means her stomach is being able to digest more food. More food = more weight gain. Becca is also going to donate her breast milk to put into Canaan's feeding tube  Bring on that liquid gold - we are ready to see Canaan get nice and chunky thighs!

PRAYER REQUESTS -
We need to beckon the throne together and pray for ZERO BRAIN BLEEDS. These are measured in 4 levels. Levels 1 & 2 are common and okay typically. Levels 3 and 4 are very scary. While this is common in a baby so tiny, we are all praying for a full miracle that Canaan have zero brain bleeds. The brain scan happens tomorrow (day 5) and again at day 14. So amp up your prayers tomorrow because this will be critical for Canaan's continued improvement.

And of course, please continue to pray for her to get off the ventilator. Pray for strong lungs and for her oxygen levels to be normal.

These are the prayers Becca and Nathan asked me to share, but I will add to please continue praying for their family. They are all doing well and feel so sustained by your prayers and encouragement, but continue to lift them up as you lift up Canaan.

OTHER UPDATES -
Becca and Nathan are where they need to be: they have good doctors, great care, and there is no talk of transporting Canaan to another hospital, nor do they want that right now. Wake and Fenley are doing AWESOME. Because the hotel is right by the hospital, Becca and Nathan are able to take them swimming, read books, play, etc. Wake is on a fun adventure and Fenley's prayer and faith is deepening daily. The faith of a child is truly powerful to watch!

So how can you help? Right now, pray. We will have many more updates as they get used to their new normal. Becca's new home is Northwest Arkansas, and it will be a while before they are able to bring Canaan home. They are taking this day by day, and continue to keep their focus on God and family. They have temporarily deactivated their Facebook accounts, not because they don't want comments, but simply to not become distracted. So please leave comments on this blog post - they need the encouragement and appreciate all the love you are sending!

A beautiful note drawn by Canaan's nurse, Ashley

Canaan was born on 7/7/17. The doctors say the first 7-10 days are critical so they need Canaan to make it to 7/17/17. You see a theme here with the number 7?? As a helpful sign to remember to pray, any time you see the number 7, lift up a breath of prayer.

One final reminder. Baby Wake (as my kids like to call him) was a 0.001% miracle. And look at him now! So we need God to do it again with precious Canaan.

I leave you with some songs Becca and Nathan have on repeat right now. May we lift His name in praise and expectation for a multitude of miracles.

Glorious Unfolding, by Steven Curtis Chapman

Miracles, by Jesus Culture


Humbly yours,
Courtney

WATCHMAN

Today is 10/23 (Read 10:23 Blog HERE ) so we are fully convinced that today is the day to write this long overdue blog. We apologize for our extended period of silence. Many of you have asked and wondered about the adoption story in May and we meant to update this blog long before now but life got crazy. We moved in July and our miracle baby came in September, and in between, life was just…life. You know how it goes! To be quite honest, we knew there would be a certain level of pain in bringing this out into the open.  Letting everyone know about what happened in May with our planned adoption is hard to do, but we feel called today to proclaim how God has been with us through all of it. We want to step up to the plate (on the heels of the Cubs’ winning the pennant), fly our own “W” and tell you about our newest addition -- WAKE THOMAS! But first, please share in our suffering before we share the surprise we experienced just three weeks ago. God is so faithful beyond our imagination and we are constantly in awe of the way He provides. So buckle up, we are going to try and give you the highlights of the past few months and also invite you into what we feel like is ahead. We love you and thank you for journeying with us so far. Your prayers during the past few months have sustained us. We love our village!

On May 22, we left with a car full of baby things ready to go get our son or daughter. Clothes were washed in Dreft, car seat properly installed and bottles ready to be filled. We were so excited. The whole drive there we could hardly contain ourselves. We were finally going to meet our newest Team D member. We left Fenley in Fort Walton Beach with Becca’s parents and she was equally excited about us bringing this new little life back with us at the end of the week. One of Becca’s students from her time teaching at Friendship Christian had parents that lived just south of St. Pete so we spent time there leading up to leaving for the hospital. We greatly enjoyed our time with the Ritchasons. We know that God had this divine time set because our time with them was for sure the highlight of those few days. They prayed over us and encouraged us in huge ways. Their home was a place full of the peace of God. They even spoiled us rotten with yummy vegan and gluten free foods which is a huge deal when travelling with food restrictions. Beth and Dewayne, thank you. Your hospitality was such a gift and being with you prepared us for the following two days. As we left their house to make our way to the hospital to see our birth mother before her scheduled C-section we got a call from the social worker that she had changed her mind about the hospital plan and was unsure what our involvement would be at the hospital. We still were holding onto hope that everything would be okay but knew that things were starting to look a little rocky. We went to the hospital to see our birth mother. We took her a monogrammed robe and a bag of goodies. We ensured her of our excitement for this child! She seemed like she was still on board but we did notice that it seemed like her emotions were starting to shift. We left praying and trusting God that all things would work out.

On Monday night, May 23, we went to dinner to TRY taking our minds off of things. We knew that “our baby” had been born but were waiting for the okay to come meet him/her. It was the weirdest feeling to be sitting at dinner and knowing just 1 mile down the road was our child but we hadn’t been able to see him/her. While at dinner we made small talk with our waitress. Guess what? In God fashion, He decides to give us a wink and our waitress shares how she was adopted and believes in adoption. We felt like this was a little encouragement. We went back to the hotel and were still waiting for the call to come meet our child. We got a call letting us know that nothing had changed thus far and just to hang on tight. We turned on the TV and after not having cable it was fun to just lie on a hotel bed and get lost in a hallmark movie…thank goodness for cheesy movies when your mind needs to just turn off. But to be real, not much sleep happened that night. We prayed. We tossed and turned and waited.

 We got up Tuesday morning and went for a walk. While walking we cried out to God. We went through everything and really were feeling good about going to see our baby. We were hopeful anyways. On our way back to the hotel to grab a couple of things, Becca’s phone rang. We were hoping that it was the call that we could come meet our baby (the last 36 hours seemed like an eternity waiting) but it was actually the opposite. The next little bit of time is a blur and was gut wrenching. We hit the hotel room floor. It was a punch in the gut. It was that heart place you never want to go. WE cried. We sobbed. WE yelled. We asked questions. We laid in silence. We got sick. We were distraught. It was as if our baby died. Because in that moment we went from knowing our baby would be riding home in our car seat with us to no baby at all. We lost that child. Nothing or no one could replace that loss.

Our birth mother decided to parent. Many would say that this is a good thing. And while we do hope and pray it is a good thing, it is hard to understand. After providing for her and the baby for months and knowing that she did not have family support at all, it was mind-boggling that all was changed in an instant. We know God ultimately wants babies with their mommas but we also know God wants babies in safe places physically, emotionally and spiritually. We are praying for our birth mother that there will be people who will walk alongside her to raise this baby. It was hard to not let the enemy creep in and sow seeds of anger. We admit on the way home (the LONGEST 8 hour drive EVER), we had some anger moments. Who am I kidding? We were angry for days, but now, months later we trust that God is providing and taking care of that little life. We know He can allow extended family, teachers, coaches, neighbors, and more to help mold that little life.

And again, in the way only God can, He spoke to us on our way home. We stopped at a Cracker Barrel in the middle of nowhere to drown our sorrows in country cooked food and He was there. Our waitress there asked how we were. Boy did she open up a can of worms! We were honest with her. We said we have a car full of baby crap and no baby! How do you think we are!?! And she was so kind. We told her the short version and she said, “I understand.” We were confused. She was all of 19 and her name was Sammy. She went on to tell us her shortened version of her story. Her mother was going to put her up for adoption. In fact a sweet family was waiting for her arrival at the hospital but her birth father and grandmother stopped the adoption and decided to parent her instead. She looked at us and said, “I can only imagine the family that was waiting for me was a nice family like you and I feel bad.” You could tell there was a wondering in her eyes and spirit….what would her life have looked like? Do you have God chills because let me tell you, we sure did. We cried even more. Sammy ended up picking up our ticket. She said it was a way for her to give to us and give back. WOW. So humbling.  God was all over this. He was with us. He was with Sammy. He was with the little baby that we thought was ours. But guess what? That baby is HIS! We are all HIS.

We made it home and knew that we had a tough few days ahead. We couldn’t wait to hug our Fenley. She handled the news like a champion. She was sad but like kids do, they rally and are so strong. Becca’s parents stayed and helped us so much. They helped us process our grief and loved us so well. Many tears were shed that week but God provided many moments of healing. We didn’t want to rush our grief. We had some people who meant so well but said things like: “well, at least you’re pregnant and you still have that baby.” Yes, we are so grateful for the life we were carrying but we also had to allow ourselves to fully grieve the child we lost. We were relieved when we received permission from a doctor to fully grieve. She said that when this happens we have to acknowledge that we had a death essentially. She said one life doesn’t replace another. We realized we could be happy and joyful about our baby coming but we could also be heartbroken about the one we lost. The tension in emotions is hard to balance at times but we can’t know joy without sorrow.

“God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68:6

Where are we now? Well we are in Nashville, TN and loving life with our newest addition, WAKE. And guess what? We are STILL adopting. Many, many caring people have asked and wondered if we were continuing to pursue adoption or not. Of course we are! God called us to adopt before we even knew about our biological baby. That call and desire hasn’t changed. If anything, it has gotten stronger! Fenley and Wake are ready to see who is coming next. We are at the top of a baby born list. This means any day (now, next week, 6 months from now) we could get a call about a baby born and we are on our way to get him/her/them. Please pray for this process.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess because He who promised is faithful.”

 Hebrews 10:23

 On September 29, Wake Thomas arrived. After years of waiting to add to our team, we can’t put into words the JOY there was in holding this sweet boy. We will tell of the birth soon. Such a fun day with our perfect surprise…especially in waiting to see if it was a boy or girl! You can see the joy on Fenley’s face when she found out she had a baby brother. Many have asked about his name. Wake has a few different meanings. Tim WAKEfield was one of Nathan’s favorite pitchers for the Red Sox. We love water and our time in Destin was so healing during our infertility journey and a wake reminds us of the water. And last but not least, Wake is an old English surname meaning “watchman”. As we got closer to picking out a boy name, Nathan found this meaning and immediately this name meant so much to us. We feel as if Wake is watching out for those that are still to come.

We aren’t in a rush and we are soaking up every moment with Wake and Fenley, but we also know God has something around the corner. Just as you have so many times before, often times, at 10:23, we ask you, right now, on 10/23 to join with us, praying and believing for more to come. You know what else? Thomas is both of our father’s names and Nathan’s middle name so it is a great family name. But guess what else? It means TWIN. Yep! As we still have our other car seat to fill, a double stroller that we are still holding onto and matching onesies waiting to be filled, we are claiming his (Wake’s) name all the more. And we pray our story points to HIS name all the time!

“This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk 2:3

Here are a few songs that have become a great source of encouragement and joy for our family lately. May you enjoy them! 

We like this song as we look into the eyes of Wake Never Lose our Wonder by Bethel

And we have shared this before but the first verse takes on even more meaning now...

Safe and Sound by Matthew West

And as we end, we leave you with this amazing picture of this great BIG sister. Thank you Jesus!