Give Thanks with a Grateful (Ace of) Hearts

Ahh, Thanksgiving. The holiday season is cherished at our house like none other during the year. From mid-November to New Year’s Day, we search for ways to capture love and joy in our sweet home. Over the last few years especially we have attempted to move the focus from food (and presents!) to true thankfulness and reflection.  After all, we believe this season calls all of us to reflect on the past year, the great, the not-so-great and the truly difficult times.  For many, this can be a time when our thoughts are drawn to those tough times. How do we handle these thoughts?  And, how can we find a way to remain thankful through these true struggles of life? Sometimes it is hard to be grateful. We all can struggle day to day with life and find it hard to be grateful and then all of a sudden a week in November comes up and we find all these things that are wonderful. We choose to be thankful. For much of the world, it is easy to give up or lose heart when things don’t go as planned. BUT, as Christians, our one motivation is God. That’s it. He is always there. He never fails. His love remains as constant and as powerful as ever. He wants to be such a part of us that even if we lose everything, our attitude will still be that of thanksgiving and praise. The Lord is ALIVE inside us through His Spirit! We have the ability to feel this gratefulness all year long and to “give thanks in every circumstance” as it says in 1 Thessalonians 5.

This week God has been prompting and leading us to share the biggest event in our lives during 2014 and we have been resistant. Well, no more. It’s time to draw closer and closer to God, step out in faith, and share our story. Warning! It’s about to get real here. We have to be transparent with you and ourselves as we share this. On this Thanksgiving morning, God asks us to reflect, praise and share. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline!” (2 Tim. 1:7) God urges us to tell our stories, to share hope, and invite others into His story!

Okay, enough procrastinating… but one last thing. We welcome your prayers for us but we reject your pity. If anything, we boast about our shortcomings, right? We boast about and rejoice through our sufferings because it is All for the glory of God. Our motivation to share this with you is simple. As Nathan tells his athletes all the time, “It’s not easy, but it’s simple.” So quite simply, by sharing this story we offer hope and life through a relationship with God. 

We feel so blessed in our almost 13 years now of marriage. During the fifth year of our marriage we were gifted with a beautiful daughter (Fenley). She is now 8 and fully involved in this family story with us. Being involved in coaching, teaching, and ministering make us feel at times like we have hundreds of kids so we were never in a hurry to have more children of our own. That is… until a little over a year ago. We knew after prayer and family discussions that we had more than enough love to welcome new members to the team.

January 24, 2014. This date is important to us. Why? That day our second born-to-be became a glory baby, going quickly and safely into the arms of Jesus. These days, we find him running down the streets of gold. And yes, he is running! You see in December of 2013 we found out we were expecting. We were thrilled! We had told Fenley and she was pumped to be a big sister. We knew that it was early to tell her and tell our close family and friends but we were going to wait till later until we really announced it...a.k.a. "social media blast!" We wanted to tell our family while we were home for Christmas because when we found out we were expecting in 2005 with Fenley we weren't able to tell in person. So we did! And we celebrated! We got excited. We dreamed. We planned. You know the drill....most of us do this. It is fun and it is hopeful.

The next few weeks went on as usual. And of course you have those scary statistics in your head floating around about how many miscarry before a certain week. Those doubts were there but they were not a burden since we had already had a very successful pregnancy and delivery with Fenley. Then on January 24, we went in for a routine checkup. We had already heard and seen the baby's heartbeat. We had pictures already and this was just a regular checkup at nearly 10 weeks. Just a couple more weeks and we are good to do a widespread announcement! And then this....the awkward silence from ultrasound tech. For those of you that have been here before, you know that sound or lack of sound. That sound when your tech is frantic as she realizes she is about to have to deliver this news to you. Naturally, we were in shock. So for the next 5 hours the hell-like afternoon started. The doctor came in and went over our options. Becca was admitted into the hospital right away and within a few hours our baby was gone. For those of you who know us well then you know our faith in a BIG God. Throughout the beginning of the procedure, Becca kept telling the doctor that she believes in a BIG God and if HE wanted to restart the babies heart, He could do it so she better check for that heart beat a few more times. Gotta love faith in a BIG God! 

That winter afternoon will forever be carried in our minds. It was horrible. BUT it was...life changing. BUT… not in a bad way. We can joyfully and honestly say we are grateful for the past 10 months. We haven't always been able to say this but we can today. Why? Let us tell you.   

Please hear us: Whether you are struggling currently to have children, have lost children in the past through a miscarriage, dreaming of having children in the future or a "fertile Myrtle" that struggles with guilt of getting pregnant so easily...this message is not meant to put stress or burden on anyone. It is meant to provide hope and thanksgiving from our Abba Father. We don't know each of your struggles and some of you might not even be able to relate but we will tell you that God is alive in all things and in all people and this year we have seen that. As we have had a year with some tough points, we have been reminded of those who have been down this road for far longer than we. And every few weeks we are reminded at their strength and ability to press forward. You know who you are and we can't wait to celebrate all the little ones ahead in all of our futures!

After we lost our baby we spent a few weeks REALLY struggling and asking God many questions. We invested in each other and attempted to show strength for Fenley so she knew how happy we were to have her. We went on with life for a couple of months. But then someone challenged us. A dear friend said that we should name our baby. (Thank you sweet friend, your encouragement and mentorship during this time was precious) She encouraged us to name him or her so in Heaven they have a name. We thought about this but were unsure if it was a boy or a girl. Then we got double confirmation of this suggestion when we went and saw the movie "Heaven is for Real". Don’t you love when God speaks so evidently to you that He gets your attention? Well, He got ours! In the movie there is a scene where the mom expresses that she had a miscarriage and her son who went to Heaven said he knew because he saw her there! With our friend and mentor suggesting this and getting the same word from the movie, we felt like this was something God was asking us to do. But then the question… is our glory baby a boy or a girl? We didn't know which it was. We asked what to do then and our friend said to ask God to reveal whether he or she was a he or a she. So we did. Step out in faith. Wait. Trust me. Just wait.  And wait. Were we ever going to know? Was He going to speak to us? "God, please. You have our baby with you and now we need you to tell us, speak to us. We want to know! Please help.” You can probably guess that some of these prayer discussions weren’t so easy. But guess what?!  HE did reveal. We had a son. A BOY! And he is precious. The way in which God revealed this is a beautiful testimony of the Lord and we can share that another time. But for now, you just need to know that our son is wonderful. (And he has adorable brownish/blonde shaggy hair and he runs FAST!)  He is running with Jesus and he is happy. He doesn't want us to be sad. He wants us to LIVE. 

After God revealed this to us, we knew we had to name him. This would all be a part of the healing. We talked about names and we had a list building for when we had more children and so we went to that list. We didn't want to use a name that we might use for our Earthly baby one day so we decided to use a name that we liked and was on list but we had decided we weren't going to use here so it could be for our "Glory Baby" (as our dear friend calls these sweet babies) and so we named him Ace. Ace seemed like a perfect fit for this active little runner boy full of Joy. 

After we named him and spoke about him with a few close friends and family, it was amazing the healing that came. It was supernatural. You see when you lose a child early in pregnancy, no one talks about it. The women keep it on lock down and so do the men. The enemy has lied to us and done a great job convincing us to keep big struggles like this bottled up. Then, of course, inevitably, people attempt to say things they think will help (by the way, all you have to do is just hug and say you love them and are sorry).  When you don’t speak and share, you just live in your own grief and sadness. You tell yourself that this happens for a reason and that you will just get over it and keep on going.  The enemy wants us to feel alone. The enemy doesn't want us talking about our grief and healing with others. The enemy wants us to question the Lord. But the enemy has no reign! We live in freedom from the creator of these sweet Glory Babies!! We worship alongside others who are worshipping the same God! And for that we receive HEALING. And Freedom!

God started showing us signs of Ace everywhere. It was as if we got little reminders every once in while that Ace was here. Becca likes to call these moments in life “God-winks.” Nathan had a powerful God-wink moment one summer morning while walking a prayer circle around the football stadium before practice. As he finished his trip around the bleachers he began to walk on the field and he noticed a poker chip a few feet away. The object was the only thing on the field besides a few cones that were put out from the day before. As Nathan walked up and bent down to pick it up, it was as if Jesus was right there with him with his arm around Nathan. The poker chip was an Ace! Nathan realized that Ace was with God, and more importantly, God was with Nathan and Team Daniel. Another beautiful moment in this story begins with a trip to the mailbox as we opened a curious looking box. We opened it and it was a framed picture of an Ace of Hearts from a deck of cards. One of our very dear friends (who has been a ROCK in dark times and amazes us tremendously) sent us this sweet gift. It was a picture of our boy. So this sits out in our living room now. This picture isn't a sad pic. It is not one of depression or “what if?” This is a picture of HOPE! It is a picture of REDEMPTION. It is a picture of LOVE. It is a picture of FAITH. 

We are hopeful. We know the promises God has given us and we claim them. We don't know what the future looks like but we are hopeful. We wouldn't trade this last year for anything.  We have grown this year more than any other time in our life. We can honestly say that. God has worked in our lives and in our hearts in more ways than we thought possible. HE has drawn us to dream BIGGER dreams. He has challenged us to dig deeper with Him and to question Him while trusting Him. He has taken our mustard seed faith and watered it more and more. So in the truly tough and truly terrific, God is there. God is constant. He is constantly saving us, changing us, and loving us the same! We have come to know His power in great ways this year. There is no limit to what God can do. And because of these tough times that we have embraced, God has made us so much more aware of the supernatural! You wouldn’t believe the dreams we have for our future… but we do! And just as the advent season draws near as we await the coming of our Lord this Christmas, we are filled with JOYFUL EXPECTANCY at what amazing love is on the way!

Etched in Becca’s memory is watching a mom sit at her computer as she read a verse over and over again with tears streaming down her face. She was crying because she had recently lost her 19 year old son. She was broken and sad, yet full of hope and joy! We have learned so many lessons in this way, watching the bold FAITH of others.  As we looked at the screen and saw the verse that had become her anthem, we read these words "Let us hold firmly to the HOPE we profess, because He who promised is faithful" - Hebrews 10:23. This verse will never be the same again. We have HOPE. Why? Because HE who promised is faithful!

Today we pray you find HOPE on your plate with a big overflowing side of gratefulness. As you are thanking Him for blessings this week, remember to hope in Him for things you are patiently yet eagerly waiting for. Maybe you are waiting to meet your future spouse to spend your life with or maybe you are waiting for financial freedom. There may be those of you who are waiting to get test results from school that determine big things or maybe you are even awaiting test results from health concerns. Or maybe you, like us and many others, are waiting on children. Whatever your wait or HOPE is...be thankful, YES, but also be hopeful. Because He who promised is faithful! ​

Red and Khaki...God uses it all!

Lifeguard   *   Swim Instructor   *   Babysitter  *   Personal Trainer   *   House cleaner   *             Dental Assistant   *   Nanny   *   Personal Assistant   *   NannyPoppinz in Miami – headhunter   *    Hurricane Recovery DayCare for Gulf Power employees   *   Nashville sports council intern    *             Baptist Hospital orthopedic floor- Nurse assistant   * Vanderbilt Trauma Center care partner               *   Vanderbilt Sports Marketing Intern   *Houston Astros Spring Training Media relations intern   *     Florida Marlins Media Relations   *   Hutchison Tree Service- TN and FL   *   Franklin American Mortgage- loan officer   *   Target Night Shift stocker   *   Track and Field Coach     *   Girls Basketball coach   *   Football Coach   *   Strength coach   *   Health and PE teacher   *   PA announcer for football games   *   Teachers at Ezell Harding and Friendship Christian Schools   *   Science teacher   *   Girls weightlifting   *   Painted pallet art   *   Non-profit business and ministry   *   Director of Church connections

A random list like this begs the question: What is this!? You are looking at our jobs over the last 13 years of marriage. Yep. This is true. Maybe you are laughing or perhaps you are in shock. Perhaps you can relate or you may even be impressed! We are hoping it’s one of those latter reactions but chances are it’s one of the first two.

Well, here we go…how can we tie these things in with the amazing Lord and all He has for us? We feel called today to invite you in to a little more of our TEAM D story -- One of frustrating days… Great days... Days of insecurities... Days of ADVENTURE.

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you are working for the Lord

rather than for people.” Colossians 3:23

 This verse is challenging, isn’t it? If we are honest with ourselves, it is hard to always work your hardest and do your best but God calls us to do this. A famous runner once said: “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” The above list of random and maybe-not-so random jobs make for some easy days to keep this mindset….but some (ok, most) days were tough! Our attitudes were not always great. We had low points – Cleaning other people’s toilets, trapped in a bunker with screaming kids and no windows during a hurricane, scary nights stocking shelves at target (Baby Alive dolls seem to come alive at night & red and khaki outfits to this day are tough to wear), etc. Although we’ve had many weak moments and weak days we wouldn’t trade these times for anything.

 

“The only source of knowledge is experience” was a common quote by Albert Einstein. Well Albert…it seems we should have quite the knowledge then. J The truth is we all come from a variety of backgrounds including education and experience. One of us has quite a few certificates and degrees and the other one of us does not. But no matter which of us has what…the same feeling remains. A feeling of insecurity in the path we have taken. As we look back upon the last 13 years, the past WONDERFUL 13 years, we sometimes see a crazy messed up path. But that is it! It is a path. A path is something you walk down to get to something else. And that is what our jobs have done. One job led to another and then to another and so on. Each position fulfilled just what it was meant to accomplish for that time. Learning and trying new things, making connections, and taking risks TOGETHER all these years have played a critical role in developing us into who we are today as individuals, as a couple and as Team Daniel. Not one thing can you remove and our puzzle still look the same. We need it all in there. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Take it from us… no matter your level of experience or education, God can use it all! Remember, He doesn’t call those that are qualified, he qualifies the called. And if you were wondering, we are ALL called!

The enemy wants to create doubt and insecurity. "Why can't you just focus? Why can't you be sure of what you want to do in life?" The world makes you think step by step, school after school, job, married, promotion, and so on. You better follow it like a recipe or it won't end up tasting very good. So for many years we've battled being embarrassed because we've lived in many places and done many things that haven’t seemed quite normal! But as years pass and the Lord speaks, we are now able to embrace this life! Our life and recipe might look different but that's okay! He created us all different. The differences are what make us beautiful. Just a few days ago, even, we were laughing, reminiscing, and cherishing many of these memorable experiences.

What have far outweighed the bad days are the countless blessings that have come from these experiences. We have met so many amazing people, enjoyed sweet relationships with families, and have been blessed to be able to see life through so many lenses. These relationships, in many cases, have led to many memorable times. Among these times include fun trips to Hawaii, Disneyworld, Fenway Park and more! What rich gifts all of these various ventures have brought us. We have experienced things we never thought possible. One of the blessings we cherish most about all of these times are the mentoring relationships we’ve formed. Team Daniel has learned life, family, marriage, and parenting from some incredible men and women of God. Thank you to all those we’ve served and worked with… you know who you are! Your wisdom, support, love, encouragement and example have meant the world and have been a HUGE part of our story. 
 
Today we want to ban the enemy away. He will not speak lies of insecurities any more. We will walk in the freedom and gifts the creator has given us. For it is by this amazing list you just read that we have experienced moments of joy like no other! Seeing a kid swim across the pool that was screaming and gripping your neck just days before. Watching a teenager gain confidence as they cross the finish line at their first track meet. Hearing words of wisdom from a mom who trusted us to keep their children for days. Embracing true work ethic as you work alongside people with very different backgrounds/ethnicities and realizing gratefulness at a new level. Holding the hand of a patient who is horrified to go to the dentist and comforting them. Seeing a childhood friend fly in on trauma helicopter after being shot and being a comfort to the family. Laughing with students about silly things as they eat lunch in your classroom and not caring that they took away your class prep time. Those are moments of JOY that will forever be in our hearts.

God gives you talents and gifts for the kingdom. He is also full of adventure and wants to make fun things work alongside your gifts! And in those moments where you don’t feel like you are in a season where your true gifts and passions are being utilized, you still are supposed to work hard! When we are doing something in our element, it is easy to enjoy what you love! But sometimes life isn’t all about the slogan on Life Is Good tees….”Do what you love, love what you do.” Sometimes we are required to just smile and work hard. This quote from Circle Maker really resonates on those days: “Work like it depends on us, PRAY like it depends on God.“

We are still young. We aren't done learning. Many more jobs to have.

 Many more people to love.