Ahh, Thanksgiving. The holiday season
is cherished at our house like none other during the year. From mid-November to
New Year’s Day, we search for ways to capture love and joy in our sweet home. Over
the last few years especially we have attempted to move the focus from food (and
presents!) to true thankfulness and reflection. After all, we believe this season calls all of
us to reflect on the past year, the great, the not-so-great and the truly difficult
times. For many, this can be a time when
our thoughts are drawn to those tough times. How do we handle these
thoughts? And, how can we find a way to
remain thankful through these true struggles of life? Sometimes it is hard to
be grateful. We all can struggle day to day with life and find it hard to be
grateful and then all of a sudden a week in November comes up and we find all
these things that are wonderful. We choose to be thankful. For much of the
world, it is easy to give up or lose heart when things don’t go as planned.
BUT, as Christians, our one motivation is God. That’s it. He is always there.
He never fails. His love remains as constant and as powerful as ever. He wants
to be such a part of us that even if we lose everything, our attitude will
still be that of thanksgiving and praise. The Lord is ALIVE inside us through
His Spirit! We have the ability to feel this gratefulness all year long and to “give
thanks in every circumstance” as it says in 1 Thessalonians 5.
This week God has been prompting and
leading us to share the biggest event in our lives during 2014 and we have been
resistant. Well, no more. It’s time to draw closer and closer to God, step out
in faith, and share our story. Warning! It’s about to get real here. We have to
be transparent with you and ourselves as we share this. On this Thanksgiving morning,
God asks us to reflect, praise and share. “For the Spirit God
gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline!”
(2 Tim. 1:7) God urges us to tell our stories, to share hope, and invite others
into His story!
Okay, enough procrastinating… but one
last thing. We welcome your prayers for us but we reject your pity. If
anything, we boast about our shortcomings, right? We boast about and rejoice
through our sufferings because it is All for the glory of God. Our motivation
to share this with you is simple. As Nathan tells his athletes all the time, “It’s
not easy, but it’s simple.” So quite simply, by sharing this story we offer hope
and life through a relationship with God.
We feel so blessed in our almost 13
years now of marriage. During the fifth year of our marriage we were gifted
with a beautiful daughter (Fenley). She is now 8 and fully involved in this
family story with us. Being involved in coaching, teaching, and ministering make
us feel at times like we have hundreds of kids so we were never in a hurry to
have more children of our own. That is… until a little over a year ago. We knew
after prayer and family discussions that we had more than enough love to
welcome new members to the team.
January 24, 2014. This date is
important to us. Why? That day our second born-to-be became a glory baby, going
quickly and safely into the arms of Jesus. These days, we find him running down
the streets of gold. And yes, he is running! You see in December of 2013 we
found out we were expecting. We were thrilled! We had told Fenley and she was
pumped to be a big sister. We knew that it was early to tell her and tell our
close family and friends but we were going to wait till later until we really
announced it...a.k.a. "social media blast!" We wanted to tell our
family while we were home for Christmas because when we found out we were
expecting in 2005 with Fenley we weren't able to tell in person. So we did! And
we celebrated! We got excited. We dreamed. We planned. You know the
drill....most of us do this. It is fun and it is hopeful.
That winter afternoon will forever be
carried in our minds. It was horrible. BUT it was...life changing. BUT… not in
a bad way. We can joyfully and honestly say we are grateful for the past 10
months. We haven't always been able to say this but we can today. Why? Let us
tell you.
Please hear us: Whether you are
struggling currently to have children, have lost children in the past through a
miscarriage, dreaming of having children in the future or a "fertile
Myrtle" that struggles with guilt of getting pregnant so easily...this
message is not meant to put stress or burden on anyone. It is meant to provide hope
and thanksgiving from our Abba Father. We don't know each of your struggles and
some of you might not even be able to relate but we will tell you that God is
alive in all things and in all people and this year we have seen that. As we
have had a year with some tough points, we have been reminded of those who have
been down this road for far longer than we. And every few weeks we are reminded
at their strength and ability to press forward. You know who you are and we
can't wait to celebrate all the little ones ahead in all of our futures!
After we lost our baby we spent a few
weeks REALLY struggling and asking God many questions. We invested in each
other and attempted to show strength for Fenley so she knew how happy we were
to have her. We went on with life for a couple of months. But then someone challenged
us. A dear friend said that we should name our baby. (Thank you sweet friend,
your encouragement and mentorship during this time was precious) She
encouraged us to name him or her so in Heaven they have a name. We thought
about this but were unsure if it was a boy or a girl. Then we got double
confirmation of this suggestion when we went and saw the movie "Heaven is
for Real". Don’t you love when God speaks so evidently to you that He gets
your attention? Well, He got ours! In the movie there is a scene where the mom
expresses that she had a miscarriage and her son who went to Heaven said he
knew because he saw her there! With our friend and mentor suggesting this and
getting the same word from the movie, we felt like this was something God was
asking us to do. But then the question… is our glory baby a boy or a girl? We
didn't know which it was. We asked what to do then and our friend said to ask
God to reveal whether he or she was a he or a she. So we did. Step out in
faith. Wait. Trust me. Just wait. And
wait. Were we ever going to know? Was He going to speak to us? "God,
please. You have our baby with you and now we need you to tell us, speak to us.
We want to know! Please help.” You can probably guess that some of these prayer
discussions weren’t so easy. But guess what?!
HE did reveal. We had a son. A BOY! And he is precious. The way in which
God revealed this is a beautiful testimony of the Lord and we can share that
another time. But for now, you just need to know that our son is wonderful.
(And he has adorable brownish/blonde shaggy hair and he runs FAST!) He
is running with Jesus and he is happy. He doesn't want us to be sad. He wants
us to LIVE.
After God revealed this to us, we knew
we had to name him. This would all be a part of the healing. We talked about
names and we had a list building for when we had more children and so we went
to that list. We didn't want to use a name that we might use for our Earthly
baby one day so we decided to use a name that we liked and was on list but we
had decided we weren't going to use here so it could be for our "Glory Baby"
(as our dear friend calls these sweet babies) and so we named him Ace. Ace
seemed like a perfect fit for this active little runner boy full of Joy.
After we named him and spoke about him
with a few close friends and family, it was amazing the healing that came. It
was supernatural. You see when you lose a child early in pregnancy, no one
talks about it. The women keep it on lock down and so do the men. The enemy has
lied to us and done a great job convincing us to keep big struggles like this
bottled up. Then, of course, inevitably, people attempt to say things they
think will help (by the way, all you have to do is just hug and say you love
them and are sorry). When you don’t speak and share, you just live
in your own grief and sadness. You tell yourself that this happens for a reason
and that you will just get over it and keep on going. The
enemy wants us to feel alone. The enemy doesn't want us talking about our grief
and healing with others. The enemy wants us to question the Lord. But the enemy
has no reign! We live in freedom from the creator of these sweet Glory Babies!!
We worship alongside others who are worshipping the same God! And for that we
receive HEALING. And Freedom!
God started showing us signs of Ace
everywhere. It was as if we got little reminders every once in while that Ace
was here. Becca likes to call these moments in life “God-winks.” Nathan had a
powerful God-wink moment one summer morning while walking a prayer circle
around the football stadium before practice. As he finished his trip around the
bleachers he began to walk on the field and he noticed a poker chip a few feet
away. The object was the only thing on the field besides a few cones that were
put out from the day before. As Nathan walked up and bent down to pick it up, it
was as if Jesus was right there with him with his arm around Nathan. The poker
chip was an Ace! Nathan realized that Ace was with God, and more importantly,
God was with Nathan and Team Daniel. Another beautiful moment in this story
begins with a trip to the mailbox as we opened a curious looking box. We opened
it and it was a framed picture of an Ace of Hearts from a deck of cards. One of
our very dear friends (who has been a ROCK in dark times and amazes us
tremendously) sent us this sweet gift. It was a picture of our boy. So this
sits out in our living room now. This picture isn't a sad pic. It is not one of
depression or “what if?” This is a picture of HOPE! It is a picture of
REDEMPTION. It is a picture of LOVE. It is a picture of FAITH.
We are hopeful.
We know the promises God has given us and we claim them. We don't know what the
future looks like but we are hopeful. We wouldn't trade this last year for anything.
We have grown this year more than any
other time in our life. We can honestly say that. God has worked in our lives
and in our hearts in more ways than we thought possible. HE has drawn us to
dream BIGGER dreams. He has challenged us to dig deeper with Him and to
question Him while trusting Him. He has taken our mustard seed faith and
watered it more and more. So in the truly tough and truly terrific, God is
there. God is constant. He is constantly saving us, changing us, and loving us
the same! We have come to know His power in great ways this year. There is no
limit to what God can do. And because of these tough times that we have
embraced, God has made us so much more aware of the supernatural! You wouldn’t
believe the dreams we have for our future… but we do! And just as the advent
season draws near as we await the coming of our Lord this Christmas, we are
filled with JOYFUL EXPECTANCY at what amazing love is on the way!
Etched in Becca’s memory is watching a
mom sit at her computer as she read a verse over and over again with tears
streaming down her face. She was crying because she had recently lost her 19
year old son. She was broken and sad, yet full of hope and joy! We have learned
so many lessons in this way, watching the bold FAITH of others. As we looked at the screen and saw the verse
that had become her anthem, we read these words "Let us hold firmly to the
HOPE we profess, because He who promised is faithful" - Hebrews 10:23.
This verse will never be the same again. We have HOPE. Why? Because HE who
promised is faithful!
Today we pray you find HOPE on
your plate with a big overflowing side of gratefulness. As you are thanking Him
for blessings this week, remember to hope in Him for things you are patiently
yet eagerly waiting for. Maybe you are waiting to meet your future spouse
to spend your life with or maybe you are waiting for financial freedom. There
may be those of you who are waiting to get test results from school that
determine big things or maybe you are even awaiting test results from health
concerns. Or maybe you, like us and many others, are waiting on children.
Whatever your wait or HOPE is...be thankful, YES, but also be hopeful. Because
He who promised is faithful!
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